} Emilynn :D my love for you <#3

Wed 17th Sept

I was so god darn pissed.

I was waiting for her at Clarke Quay all alone! I'm so glad Hayden was there to keep my accompany while waiting for her. And thanks buddy for trying to enetertain me.

And guess what? She did turn up again? Same for last week! You wouldn't understand that kinda feeling. Out there waiting for someone. nd suddenly she's not coming. And you're all so clueless where to head to..

I'm glad. Buddy and friends offered to accompany. Asked me join 'em and head down to 'ButterFactory'. I wasn't really keen. Wanted so much to go home.

Then Buddy was asking where I would like to head to. And offered to acompany me down to 'Arena'. Thanks so much dearie!

Know.. Even though none of my gfs were like here with me, but I still had hell lotsa fun. =) Sad to say, there wasn't any dancing. ='(

Fri 19th Sept

Head down to Office to report for work with a super bad mood. Just had a tiff with bf? Reached there, saw no one and I got so blur?? Then Eunice said they cancelled Friday. So Friday no longer need to work. I was pissed off! I was thinking why couldn't she inform me before I get down to office and waste my time and effort going down?

Then I asked to meet bf pass him stuff?

Ok. I made a big wrong move. She was there? And I was thinking I've done no wrog even though she think I have, so I shouldn't run away? Ok. I soooo felt that I've grown up to face problems now? Like alone? No more Xiao Bai, May, Vid, Cindy, Shine, Yen and who-so-ever with me?

Ok. That's when something happened..

I got screwed hardcore in public! It sounded nice, no shouting no nothing. But the words had so much meaning hidden in it. I knew.. I knew everything. I sooo wanted to run away and cry. Hide myself in the room? Head down to hub look for Yen? WHATEVER!

I kept my cool. Took out my phone called Ben and continued my conversation with him and said I'll be goin down since he asked me like accompany him go have donuts? LOL! Wrog move again!

He was like went crazy? And we started quarreling and yes, again, for the second time I got screwed hardcore in public in a single day!

I couldn't imagine how I was ablt to tolerate all the sadness in me. But as soon as I went home, reached AMK, got up the bus, I started crying? Got down at the park and went to the pond where god daddy use to console me.

I cried for like 2 full hours?

First time ever in my life. To get screwed. Cause even darlings couldn't bare to like screw me? Yes, I was feeling down. God darn down..

I cheered up a lil when I saw this old couple walking in the park. I smiled. =)

I'm still feeling down. I couldn't understand why I got screwed.

Thing was this. She loan money from me like 3 months ago? Saying she'll return once her pay comes in next week? And 3 monthe later then she return me, with a scolding? Cause baby like called her to ask about it? So she screwed me with the reason that I wa being a bitch to tell my bf about it? And I was being an asshole for quarreling over money?

Shouldn't it be her fault? Since she didn't honour her words to return by the date started? Hasn't I been flexible keeping my mouth shut for 3 full months not even texting you and asking for payment? It's not about returning but the principle. How should I trust you then? Right?

I so felt like dying..

Sat 20th Sept

Darell, Sam and Sky were all asking me why're am I so moody. I couldn't answer why. I cried cause my lens were hurting my eyes. They were probing so much into what happened and I really cried because I was sad.

I didn't say much, but I only said I was ssad yesterday? And I cried for 2hrs and slept like only 6hrs?