} Emilynn :D my love for you <#3

I screamed at him! I shouted at him. I threw obcenities at him! For calling the wrong number. Mummy ran into the room. I put the phone down. I stone for a lil while. I cried. Ha! Yes! I got angry I shouted. I got sad I cried. Can I?!

Hmm. Baby's sick. He's unwell. I do have a lot of questions. I do have lots to say. But I'm not doing it, for fear of irritating you. I'm not texting you after the call. I'm not calling you after that call. For fear of disrupting ya sleep. I admit I don't know how to express myself.

It's not that I don't care.

I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm going crazy soon. I wanna throw my temper. I wanna throw tantrums. Cause I'm not geting the things I want and things are not going the way I want it to. Things are happening at the wrong time and I hate it so much. I'm hating everything. EVERYTHING!

If only I have beauty and intelligence.
Fame and popularity.
Character and personality.

Why am I born ugly? Why am I born stupid? Why can't I have that lil bit of everything. Just a lil.. I can't seem to express myself. In everything.. Life's boring. Life's stupid. Make you go through all the shit. And making you choose yourself or others. Making life diifficult for you.

I'm irritated! I'm pissed. I want things to go MY way!

Somehow I feel that the things that I've been doing are so similar to hers. The recent crying behind the scene. The laughter and everything infront of everybody. I eat alot when I want to. And nothing at all when I don't want to.

Anyway, Thanks for coming down buddies! I just realised you both know each other! And what a timely visit from the both of you. =) One at a time! I was really touched. Thanks.. Thanks for lunch!

What for carry on when nothing is enjoyable? Why make oneself go through all the shit yea? I use to think she was selfish. She ended everything not sparing a thought for people around her who loves her. Then again now I find her smart. Everyone hated her in school. She wasn't being seen as normal. She choose to spare herself from all the agony. I'm glad I was the only you called before you left. But then again I hated you. You showed me how much you care for me as a friend, then again to leave me here alone in this world. You showed me I was the only friend you had, but to leave me very soon after.

Once in awhile I still think of you and tear for you, I still miss the times we went for dance lessons. I avoided everyone and anyone. Everyone who constantly trying to lick my ass time and again. But you were different. I miss learning dance with you. I miss you standing beside me. I miss you doing all that act of yours. I hated, as well as love ya courage.. =)

Yes I'm procrastinating. I'm complaining. I'm bitching. I'm doing all I wanna do cause I haven't been doing things I wanna do for my sake. =) Allow me please.

I miss you Baby. Hope you're feeling better. And shit I don't wanna go to club today! Arghh~ They're gonna screw me up if I don't. Shit. I hate it..